


do you like or like, like me?

by zach_stone



Series: "Dude, can you cool it with the phone talk?" - Texting AU fics [1]
Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/F, F/M, Love Confessions, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-06 20:43:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5430167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zach_stone/pseuds/zach_stone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look at a series of text message conversations in Chris's phone while the gang is in college. Featuring bad bro puns courtesy of Josh, lots of mixed signals, and shenanigans.</p><p>(title from Like or Like Like by Miniature Tigers)</p>
            </blockquote>





	do you like or like, like me?

**Author's Note:**

> basically i was just thinking about how fun fics are when they're told in this format and this just kinda.... happened....  
> how many love confession fics can i write for this pairing? the limit doesn't fucking exist i guess
> 
> enjoy this it's really cracky and silly but whatevs

**Group Chat: Squad**

******joshington:** bro i saw u talkin 2 ashley @ the library a few minutes ago  
she down 2 clown?? ;)

 **sammy:** josh you do realize this is the gc right

 **ash:** um??? what does this mean

 **joshington:** aw shit

 **prez munroe:** dude wtf who even says “down 2 clown” anymore

 **joshington:** stfu mike ur innuendo skills are subpar

 **ash:** innuendo???? why. what is happening

 **chris:** …..  
josh i fucking hate you

\--

**Message Thread: Joshington**

 

 **joshington:** yo my bad dude  
but like answer my question

 **** **chris:** you are sincerely the most embarrassing person i know  
i was talking to ashley about HOMEWORK

 **joshington:** when will u make a move ur killin me

 **chris:** find your chill i’m begging you

 **joshington:** im the Most Chill ever i just want u to get laid

 **chris:** thanks for the concern

\--

**Message Thread: Ash**

**ash:** why does josh think you want to clown me?  
or whatever the heck that meant

 **** **chris:** i am so sorry on his behalf  
he thinks i have a crush on you

 **ash:** yikes  
could he be more off the mark???

 **chris:** do not tell him the truth pls and thanks

 **ash:** ok but you should

 **chris:** thank u for the input

\--

**Group Chat: Squad**

**jess:** PARTY ROCKIN IN THE HOUSE 2NITE

 **prez munroe:** hellz yes where @

 **** **jess:** delta phi???? idk this girl invited me  
yall need to join me  
gonna get wild

 **lady em:** ugh delta phi parties suck ass  
i’m down tho  
nominating matt for DD

 **matt:** why is it always me

 **jess:** u are responsible  & pure

 **matt:** thank

 **joshington:** matt u are truly shaped like a friend

 **matt:** what does that mean

 **joshington:** it means i love u dearly and im gonna get wasted 2nite

 **hannah banana:** aw man no can do, beth  & sam & i are pullin an all-nighter studying for bio

 **jess:** RIP

\--

**Group Chat: Squad**

**matt:** sam  & twins, u guys are missin out rn  
some wild shit is happening

 **betharoni:** spill it

 **matt:** josh + some dude @ this party = making tf out

 **sammy:** oh shit

 **matt:** right???? i didnt even know josh was into dudes

 **chris:** whatever hes just drunk

 **matt:** chris bro where are u no one knows where u went

 **chris:** just went to get some air

 **matt:** u ok?

 **chris:** A+

\--

**Message Thread: Sammy**

**sammy:** eesh dude

 **chris:** what

 **sammy:** sorry about josh

 **chris:** what’s to be sorry about??? nbd

 **sammy:** chris….

 **chris:** i’m serious sam it’s nbd  
josh can do whatever he wants  
i really do not care

 **sammy:** uh huh

 **chris:** shouldn’t you be studying

 **sammy:** get back to your party, nerd. have some fun.

 **chris:** thanks mom

 **sammy:** >:(

\--

**Group Chat: Squad**

**sammy:** how is the hangover crew

 **joshington:** death is at my door  
it was nice knowing u all

 **prez munroe:** i puked in the shower  
this is a new low

 **lady em:** when will you people learn 2 drink water when ur throwing back the booze  
i feel great

 **sammy:** if i buy everyone coffee can we go get brunch

 **prez munroe:** what part of “puked in the shower” do u not understand samantha

 **sammy:** what part of “i am willing to buy 10 coffees” do YOU not understand

 **prez munroe:** shh no caps  
too loud for my eyes

 **joshington:** sammy  
will u also buy me bacon

 **sammy:** josh wtf  
i’m fucking vegan you dipshit

 **joshington:** :’(  
headed ur way lookin like a hot mess  
i’ll be the one in the sunglasses

 **chris:** it is overcast

 **joshington:** let me live

\--

**Message Thread: Lady Em**

**lady em:** why are u conveniently absent for brunch

 **chris:** i’m hungover

 **lady em:** so is like half the group  
not a good excuse  
quit pouting and come get pancakes

 **chris:** i’m not POUTING wtf

 **lady em:** uh-huh. sure.

 **chris:** i’m not!!!!!!!!!!

 **** **lady em:** prove it then and come to brunch

 **chris:** fine.  
i hate you very much

 **lady em:** xoxoxoxo

\--

**Message Thread: Hannah Banana**

**hannah banana:** hey are u ok?

 **chris:** ??? yes why

 **hannah banana:** josh thinks ur mad at him

 **chris:** omg why

 **hannah banana:** bcos u didn’t make eye contact w/ him for all of brunch??  
you are mad aren’t you  
why are you mad???

 **chris:** i’m not mad wtf

 **hannah banana:** then will u please tell josh that  
he’s really upset

 **chris:** jfc fine

\--

**Message Thread: Joshington**

**chris:** i’m not mad at you  
chill out dude

 **joshington:** i told u im a very chill person  
glad ur not mad tho bro

 **chris:** why would i even be mad

 **joshington:** idk u disappeared @ the party last night  
matt told me i made out w/ someone but i dont rly remember  
i didnt make out w/ u did i  
is that why ur mad?? bc we made out???????

 **chris:** omfg  
no josh you did not make out with me

 **joshington:** lmao yeah i’d probably remember that  
are u a good kisser cochise  
do u make all the ladies weak in the knees

 **chris:** i think you’re still drunk bro

\--

**Message Thread: Ash**

**chris:** AAAAAAAH

 **ash:** why do you scream

 **chris:** just!!! look at this!!!  
[Screenshot attached]

 **ash:** LOL!!!!  
are you SURE he has no idea you like him  
because omfg

 **chris:** i!!!! don’t fucking know anymore!!!!!  
i am dead. i have died. cause of death: josh washington.

 **ash:** rest in peace  
when are you just gonna tell him how you feel

 **chris:** hmm what i can’t read i don’t know what you’re saying  
goodbye ashley

\--

**Group Chat: Squad**

**joshington:** guess who just took his last motherfuckin final of the semester?!?!?!?  
its ya boi

 **betharoni:** omg i hate you i still have 3 more

 **joshington:** tragic  
is anyone else done i wanna celebrate  
chris ur done now right

 **chris:** yeah but i’m busy

 **joshington:** with what??? ur on break  
what could be more important than me  
ur #1 bro  
ur bromeo  
we could go 2 the brocery store  
and get some BROccoli

 **jess:** i hate this conversation

 **chris:** josh you don’t even like broccoli

 **joshington:** i will do anything for a good pun

 **lady em:** nothing about that was good

 **joshington:** honestly how dare u

\--

**Message Thread: Betharoni**

**betharoni:** when are u gonna stop avoiding my brother u dick

 **chris:** whoa whoa whoa  
i’m not avoiding him

 **betharoni:** bullshit. you guys haven’t gone this long w/o hanging out since that time u got into a fight in 6th grade about pokemon.

 **chris:** i’ve been busy. it’s college. it happens, beth.

 **betharoni:** do not give me that shit, chris!!!!!  
don’t make me set sam on u

 **chris:** really you’re gonna threaten me w/ your girlfriend

 **betharoni:** desperate times  
look, seriously chris  
i know ur upset about whatever happened at that party  
and i wasn’t there so idk exactly how it happened  
but like

 **chris:** it doesn’t matter

 **betharoni:** shut up and let me finish  
what i’m trying to say is, i know my brother  
and i know that he makes stupid decisions when he’s plastered  
so i’m sure that kiss didn’t mean anything serious, ok??  
so quit being jealous and petty, especially if u aren’t gonna tell him how u feel

 **chris:** shit  
you’re right  
ugh

 **betharoni:** love u  <33

 **chris:** :(

\--

**Message Thread: Joshington**

**chris:** yo yo yo wyd  
still down 2 get that BROccoli

 **joshington:** i knew i could count on u  
except u were right, i fuckin hate broccoli  
can we just like go get burgers or somethin

 **chris:** you read my mind  
burgers  & shakes on me bro

 **joshington:** a man after my own heart

 **chris:** lolololololol

\--

**Group Chat: Squad**

**joshington:** merry christmas bitches

 **ash:** merry xmas!!!!  <3333 miss u guys

 **jess:** hows the weather in NY josh

 **joshington:** cold as shit  
chris-level layering going on rn

 **chris:** wtf

 **joshington:** that was quick

 **chris:** i sensed i was being mocked

 **hannah banana:** he’s not lying though  
[Image attached]

 **joshington:** SISTER PLEASE

 **prez munroe:** LMAOOOO

 **matt:** are u literally wearing 6 sweaters

 **joshington:** this is disrespect to the highest degree  
respect ur elders u assholes

 **ash:** ok grandpa

 **joshington:** im gonna fight u all when i return

 **lady em:** well it won’t be a fair fight with all that padding you got on, washington

 **prez munroe:** OOOOOOH

 **joshington:** omg shut the hell up mike u absolute fucktruck

\--

**Group Chat: Squad**

**betharoni:** happy new year gang!!!!

 **sammy:** its not midnight yet here! :(

 **joshington:** hello from the other side……….

 **betharoni:** sammy i’m giving you a new years kiss from afar  <3

 **prez munroe:** gay

 **betharoni:** yeah

 **jess:** mike dont be mean,,  
ur giving me a new years kiss rig ht

 **prez munroe:** only the best for my lady  <3

 **lady em:** gag me

 **jess:** didnt know you were into that ;)))

 **chris:** aaaaaaaah!!! my poor eyes

 **jess:** ;)))))))

 **hannah banana:** is jessica drunk

 **jess:** ;))))))))))))

 **hannah banana:** taking that as a yes

\--

**Message Thread: Joshington**

**joshington:** yo dude u gonna kiss ash at midnight??

 **chris:** probs not

 **joshington:** but why!?!?!? its the perfect opportunity!!!!!

 **chris:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **joshington:** do not give me that  
forreal man why are u not making ur move

 **chris:** idk i just dont feel it man

 **joshington:** what  
are u tellin me u dont like her or something???

 **chris:** …...kinda yeah

 **joshington:** WTF  
for how long has this been a thing??? did u ever like her????

 **chris:** not like, LIKE her  
sorry dude

 **joshington:** unbelievable  
why didnt u just tell me omfg

 **chris:** idk  
sorry

 **joshington:** its ok dude im just in shock  
damn  
well are u gonna kiss anyone tonight???

 **chris:** jess has already kissed me like 4 times

 **joshington:** nice  
u into that???

 **chris:** she’s dating mike

 **joshington:** ok but are u into that????

 **chris:** don’t call our friend a “that”  
and no

 **joshington:** who are u into  
let me help u  
bro 2 bro

 **chris:** ¬_¬

 **joshington:** how are u even making these faces  
also why

 **chris:** (• ε •)

 **joshington:** wtf thats so cute  
wait  
are u  
chris  
are u kissin me

 **chris:** happy new year

 **joshington:** !!!!!!!!!!!!  
WAIT  
CHRIS  
WHAT  
HELLO????  
bro cochise what  
do u like ME  
helloooooooooo

\--

**Message Thread: Ash**

**chris:** WELP

 **ash:** why are u texting me  
we’re in the same house  
just come back into the living room

 **chris:** i told josh

 **ash:** WHAAAAAT  
when how what did he say omg omg omg

 **chris:** aaaaaaaaaah  
just now  
i sent him a kissing emoji face  
he is sending me a bunch of capslock messages but i’m not replying  
i’m screaming

 **ash:** me too!!!!!!!!!!  
yay!!!!!!!!!

 **chris:** idk if it’s yay or not yet  
he hasn’t said he likes me back or anything  
just “WHAT” over and over

 **ash:** maybe you should reply to him you doof

 **chris:** ಠ╭╮ಠ

 **ash:** you’re a loser. TEXT HIM BACK.

\--

**Message Thread: Hannah Banana**

**hannah banana:** care to explain why my brother has been screaming for like 10 mins??

 **chris:** lol

 **hannah banana:** wait omg  
chris do you like josh

 **chris:** well you see  
the truth is  
….  
yes. yes i do. and i just kind of sort of told him

 **hannah banana:** OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
wait ok you need to text him back he’s like losing his mind

 **chris:** in a good way or a bad way

 **hannah banana:** in a “i can’t tell if i’m interpreting this correctly hannah look at this kissy face tell me what you think this means” way

 **chris:** jesus christ

\--

**Message Thread: Joshington**

**chris:** hello

 **joshington:** THAT IS NOT AN ANSWER  
i mean  
hello

 **chris:** yes

 **joshington:** yes what

 **chris:** yes i like you

 **joshington:** OMG

 **chris:** that is not a comforting response

 **joshington:** OMGGGGGGG

 **chris:** josh please  
look i’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable but i just  
figured it was time i bucked the fuck up and just told you  
especially since you kissed that dude at the party awhile back  
i kinda figured maybe  
even if you didn’t feel the same way  
at least you wouldn’t hate me  
i hope

 **joshington:** bro  
dude  
cochise  
i don’t hate u  
i like u

 **chris:** cool  
wait  
what

 **joshington:** i like u too

 **chris:** OMG

 **joshington:** lmao

 **chris:** ….OMG…..

 **joshington:** ur so cute

 **chris:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!  
so are you!!!!  
omg!!!!  
when are you coming home

 **joshington:** day after tomorrow  
i will kiss u irl then  
but for now  
i will carry ur emoji face kiss in my heart

 **chris:** :’’’’’’)

\--

**Group Chat: Squad**

**chris:** ASH HE LIKES ME TOO I’M SCREAMING  
JOSH WASHINGTON LIKES ME

 **lady em:** hello  
this is the group chat dumbass

 **chris:** ……….omg

 **prez munroe:** whaaaaat

 **matt:** omg wait chris likes dudes too???

 **jess:** EVERYO N E IS SO GAY I LVOE IT

 **ash:** omg yay chris!!!

 **joshington:** oh how the turn tables

 **sammy:** how do you people keep doing this  
also congrats boys

 **chris:** thank you ash  & sam  
everyone else fuck off

 **betharoni:** welcome to the gay club  
sam and i are still the superior gays though

 **sammy:** obvs

 **hannah banana:** i am team sam and beth  
team sath if you will

 **joshington:** fuck u guys  
chris and i are gonna dethrone u  
whats our cool team name???  
chrosh  
joris

 **chris:** i hate both of those absolutely not  
also let’s end this conversation

 **jess:** TEAM CHR OSH

 **joshington:** <333333 jess knows whats up

 **ash:** joris sounds like a butler’s name

 **lady em:** i’m embarrassed to know you all

 **chris:** i’m team emily

 **lady em:** hell yeah you are

 **joshington:** bro wtf  
i thought what we had was special

 **prez munroe:** don’t call him bro if ur gonna suck his dick

 **chris:** OMFG

\--

**Group Chat: Squad**

**joshington:** guess who's back, back again  
joshy’s back, tell a friend

 **betharoni:** what are han and i, chopped liver?

 **lady em:** never put eminem lyrics in this message thread again

 **ash:** welcome home guys!!!!!!  <3

 **joshington:** let’s get lunch. daddy’s buying.

 **sammy:** who is daddy

 **joshington:** i am daddy

 **matt:** pls don’t call yourself that

 **lady em:** jesus christ josh

 **prez munroe:** i ain’t calling u daddy  
chris can tho ayyyyy

 **chris:** FUCK OFF MIKE

 **joshington:** im changing my name to daddy in all ur phones

 **hannah banana:** please do not

 **joshington:** twins excluded

 **** **betharoni:** thank god

\--

**Message Thread: Daddy ;)**

**daddy ;) :** sup bitch

 **chris:** nooooooooo  
when did you even have access to my phone

 **daddy ;) :** when u got up to take a leak

 **chris:** you’re literally sitting next to me why are we texting

 **daddy ;) :** bc u love seein my new contact name  
hey dont fuckin change it

 **joshington:** man u suck

\--

**Group Chat: Squad**

**joshington changed the group name to Josh Is Daddy**

**sammy:** josh will you quit it omfg

 **jess:** u nasty

 **joshington:** why must you all kinkshame me

 **hannah banana:** my eyes are burning

 **joshington:** damn tru i don’t wanna traumatize my sisters

**joshington changed the group name to Josh Is Only Daddy To Some**

**lady em changed the group name to Everyone Hates Josh**

**joshington changed the group name to Emily Is A Bitch**

**lady em changed the group name to Josh Will Die Tonight**

**jess:** ok can u stop now my phone keeps going off every time u do that

 **sammy:** holy shit stop texting and eat your food you losers

\--

**Message Thread: Joshington <3**

**joshington <3 :** hey so  
we did not kiss today

 **chris:** true

 **joshington <3 :** i wanna kiss u

 **chris:** please do

 **joshington <3 :** can i come over

 **chris:** hell yeah hell yeah

 **joshington <3 :** gonna kiss u so good  
ur gonna love it  
im so good at kissing  
im the master

 **chris:** quit texting me and get over here jackass

 **joshington <3 :** i love it when u take charge ;)

 **chris:** bye!!!!!!!!

\--

**Message Thread: Ash**

**chris:** hello this is josh washington, chris’s boyfriend, using chris’s (my boyfriend’s) phone to tell u that chris (my boyfriend) is now my boyfriend

 **ash:** omfg????  
yay though i’m so happy for you guys!!!!!!  
why didn’t you just use your own phone though

 **chris:** bc my boyfriend’s phone was closer  
mine is in my pants, u see  
and my pants  
well  
they are not on me

 **ash:** thanks for sharing

 **** **chris:** OMFG ashley i’m so sorry, josh stole my phone  
what did he say to you  
omg i just read  
i’m so sorry

 **ash:** LOL  
it’s ok hahahahaha

\--

**Group Chat: Josh Will Die Tonight**

**ash:** mike was right everyone

 **prez munroe:** HELLZ YEAH u suckers all owe me $10

 **matt:** yo chris  & josh congrats on the sex

 **chris:** wtf is happening

 **jess:** we all placed bets on when u two would do the dirty

 **sammy:** goddamn it yall couldn’t have waited one more day  
i had faith in you

 **joshington <3 :** sucks to suck, sammy

 **prez munroe:** u would know all about sucking wouldnt u josh

 **chris:** MIKE CHILL

 **hannah banana:** i s2g i am this close to leaving this gc

 **joshington <3 :** B)

 **chris:** why are you so obsessed with josh sucking my dick, mike  
jealous?

 **matt:** OH SNAP

 **prez munroe:** ew no  
im straight dude

 **matt:** hahahahahahahahaha

 **betharoni:** nice no homo save there michael

\--

**Message Thread: Joshington <3**

**joshington <3 :** hey chris

 **chris:** yeah?

 **joshington <3 :** ur my BROfriend  
and now i can give u BROjobs  
whenever u want

 **chris:** i’m breaking up with you

 **joshington <3 :** what??? D:

 **chris:** kidding.  <3  
but seriously chill with the bro puns  
they’re not even good

 **joshington <3 :** u love them. and me.

 **chris:** ….true.

 **joshington <3 :** <3333

 **chris:** <3

**Author's Note:**

> perhaps there will be continuations of this if anyone likes it enough... it's kinda fun tbh


End file.
